Before I could even take a breath, 2017 is.... over?! Not quite, but we have less than a month, and I just can't believe it. This year, I was dragged through hell and back - and I'm still recovering from the damage that was done. Slowly but surely, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and that's all we can really do, right? I'm back and have so much planned for 2018, but I wanted to check in with you all beforehand!
I know the last time I posted was in February... I know. I took some much needed time off to deal with things that I didn't deal with when I needed to, and it spiraled out of control. Quite frankly - I was a complete WRECK. And once I started to put the pieces back together, I was knocked down all over again in November. I know what you're thinking, I sound insane and you have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'll break it down for you!
When I left you all in February, I know it was sudden, and without any warning really. Honestly, I didn't even realize that I wasn't posting until I got an email from a follower checking up on me (kudos to you, because I don't know if I would have found the strength to come back if I didn't have followers that care. So thank you).
I was at an all time low last winter, and I didn't even realize it. I wasn't really going to class, and I wasn't hanging out with people. I was calling off work because I just didn't want to go, and it was horrible. I ended up getting a medication adjustment, but honestly, other than those details, everything was just a blur. I don't remember a whole lot of that semester, until this summer actually. So I came back better than ever this summer, and really got my sh*t together!
I worked 40+ hour weeks, got a raise at work, and finally got my drivers license! Things were finally getting back on track and I was finally finding motivation to do the things I love again (including this!). So I went hard at work and have been planning so much for this website, and I can't wait for you all to see it and be a part of it! I might also have mini series coming at you all, and special guest bloggers that I've been working with... but I don't know...
Flash forward to the beginning of fall semester (to those of you who don't know, I'm a junior in college)...
Things are going GREAT! I have great relationships with my sorority sisters, I feel like my mental health is really on track (with the help of my incredible therapist), I didn't miss class, AND I got A's on all of my midterms!!! Things were going SO well! Don't get me wrong, I definitely faced some obstacles that I won't get in to, but I finally had the strength to defend myself and stand up for my beliefs.
After midterms though, things really took a turn for the worse. Some of you may know, but my dad passed away unexpectedly on November 1, 2017. My heart is still completely shattered, and I still struggle every single day. I'm seeing my therapist more frequently now to help me work through this, and I struggle every day with my new reality.
I missed WEEKS of class, and really fell behind. My university has been great about helping me with my professors, but I really did fall behind and my grades are really going to suffer because of it. This has made me be incredibly hard on myself, and really struggle with my mental health and taking care of myself. On top of everything else, I fell even more depressed and more anxious. Thankfully, I now have the tools I need to work through those feelings, and have been able to keep myself afloat. I've learned to not be so hard on myself, and have come to accept the fact that I did the best I could given the circumstances.
So, now we're here! I'm putting all of my energy into something positive, and am working harder than ever on LN;DL. I wont be posting a blog post like this again until the first of the year, but I did want to give you all a little update on my life and where we stand. LN;DL. is sticking around, and coming back better than ever in 2018 - so make sure you stay tuned!
Also, be sure to follow me on Facebook and Tumblr, and I'll see you all in the new year!