To the people I hurt while I was hurting,
Let me start by saying that I am sorry. I am sorry that I was not the person you expected me to be and I am sorry that I let you down.
You have to understand, though, that I was not myself, and while that is not an excuse I hope you can find the heart to forgive anything I said or did during this dark time in my life.
I was living a nightmare and the only way I knew how to cope was by isolating myself. And when people started to pry, I started to lash out.
I hated that people cared, because I didn't want to get better. Sometimes, I still find myself wanting to sink back into a depression but I can handle it better now. I know how to be myself again, and it feels so good.
I know that you cared, and I know that you wanted to help me. I know that.
And I am sorry that I was unable to accept your help. I'm sorry for all the awful things I said. I am sorry that I wasn't myself for a very long time.
But thank you. Thank you so much for caring about me. Thank you for offering your hand to me when I was so far down.
I can't find enough words to express my gratitude to the ones that never gave up on me. The people who stuck by my side as I spiraled down a dark path.
And to those who couldn't handle it, I understand. And I praise you for looking out for yourself because I wasn't a good person to be around. And I hope that one day, if it's meant to be, we find our way back into each others lives.
Even if it's just a passing wave on the street, a coffee date, or even when we're both adults and we have adult lives and families, we can take a break from the craziness of it all and grab lunch.
But if these things don't happen I can understand and I still wish you the best. But know that I am sorry for not being the person I was expected to be.
To the people I hurt while I was hurting, my deepest apologies. But I am a different person now. A better person. And I hope that one day you have the chance to see that for yourself.
Someone who was hurting for way too long