Listen, shedding light on topics not typically discussed is awesome. Why? Because when you talk about things not typically talked about, you're more educated and are less likely to make a comment that makes you seem ignorant when the topic is brought up.
Before I begin, I know some people are going to have some different feelings and that is totally okay! I respect your opinions, this is just mine. Feel free to tell me if you agree or disagree and why in the comments and let me know your views!
50 Shades of Gray is the new phenomenon right now. Its sexy, erotic, enticing... but its also full of misconceptions of the sexual activities involved in BDSM.
Now, what exactly is BDSM, and what does 50 Shades portray it as?
The acronym BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism.
This sexual relationship has received a pretty bad rep, especially because of this movie. But the thing is, there are tons of people who participate in BDSM in some way or another, even if they dont realize it. Blindfolds or tying their hands up? A form of BDSM.
In BDSM relationships, the roles are unequal but consensual, much unlike the "normal" relationships where both parties treat each others equally.
When practicing BDSM, a partner is able to withdraw consent if they become uncomfortable, and they have safewords they can go to when they aren't comfortable. Once safe words are said which means to stop, then the dominate risks charges of sexual assault or rape is they choose to not stop.
This is where 50 Shades of Gray fails. Well... one way.
Please keep in mind I have not seen the movie or read the book, nor will I, and all of the information Im getting is from reviews and online.
In this movie, Ana (the submissive partner) falls in love with Christian Grey who enjoys BDSM. However, Ana does not. Ana says yes to Grey simply because shes too shy to say no or because she doesnt want to lose Grey. When someone is shy or isnt really willing to participate in something, they arent enthusiastic in their consent. And as I stated in my blog about rape, consent is ONLY an enthusiastic yes.
Christian Grey completely stalks Ana as well, and even enters her house without permission and finds out where she works and shows up unannounced. Totally inappropriate, and totally reason to call 911!
And lets just talk about the written contract Grey draws up... stating that Ana must consent to "his supremacy". Grey keeps pestering Ana about this ridiculous proposal, even though he knows exactly how Ana feels about BDSM.
In many ways, this movie is not about BDSM at all, because there is no consent. This movie is about rape culture. A rapist and his victim. Christian Grey is an abuser. In BDSM there has to be mutual respect and mutual understanding, and from what I'm reading, Grey has no respect for Ana, and does not care to understand her feelings.
The relationship between Christian and Ana is not a BDSM one, but a glamorized abusive one. I would much rather read about a real, or realistic story about a woman or man who was abused and how they survived and how they are now.
This movie is glamorizing abuse and rape culture, and I choose not to support that.